What are Energetic Cords? What does it mean to “cut” them?

Before we get into it: this post talks about suicide, depression, and trauma, including some of my own experiences. Take care of yourself as you read.

So many people talk about it (me included) and suggest it like it’s the easiest thing in the world. It isn’t easy and shouldn’t be taken lightly at all. I’m going to share my own personal experience with energetic cords and cord cutting as a jump-off point for you to do more research and explore for yourself what resonates. At the end, there are some rituals you can do for cord cutting.

First, what even is an energetic cord?

The first time I ever heard of anything like this was the Red Thread of Fate, a Japanese legend that says certain people are connected to us by a red string. We are destined to meet them, learn a divine lesson, and sometimes they are our soulmates. The cord never breaks. No matter how tangled or stretched, you will cross paths. Super cute. I’m a hopeless romantic, and I loved this concept immediately.

But it became real and tangible for me during a group past-life regression session. The facilitator looked at me and said, “You’ve had so many past lives, and I see many, many cords attached to you from lives before and experiences you’ve had in this one, too.” then walked away. Lol. I knew it. I could feel it. There was this attachment to people, places, and things that was keeping me energetically stuck, exhausted, and unmotivated.

Ancestors in the Making is a reader-supported publication. To receive new posts and support my work, consider becoming a free or paid subscriber.

What I saw in that regression

I had done a solo past life meditation before this session, and one life stood out to me. I was some kind of wealthy person in the Victorian era, wearing a huge navy blue dress with gold accents, pale skin, and I was miserable. When I came out of the trance, I understood that some of the sadness and depression I’d been carrying had roots in that lifetime. But I didn’t know what to do with that information, so I stuffed it away. Remember, time isn’t linege so you could have 100s of past lives that even overlap in time.

Anyways, in the group session, I got to see two lives clearly.

The first: I was a young Vietnamese soldier hiding in a swamp. Hypothermia was setting in fast. I felt my body go from unbearably cold to warm as I watched that life flash before my eyes. I was dying, and I was experiencing it. I saw my wife, my childhood, and felt the pride I had in my ability to survive. What I carried from that life into this one was survival. I am the type of person who can get through anything, physically, mentally, and emotionally. I was born and raised in NYC I taught wilderness survival for 10 months, and I have go-bags in my apartment. When I walk my dog every morning, I point out edible medicine and plants you can eat lol That drive makes complete sense to me now.

The second life was heavier. I was a tall, thick, muscular man; I felt like a giant. I lived somewhere that looked like a desert. The scene started with me driving home from work late at night, anxious, rushing, knowing something was wrong. When I got home, my kids were crying in the corner and pointing toward the bedroom. When I went in, I found my wife. She had taken her life.

I sobbed during the session. I could feel everything: the shock, the guilt, the blame I was putting on myself. Even typing this now, I feel it.

What I carried from that lifetime: an overwhelming sense of responsibility for the people I love. I finally understood why I had been “captain-save-a-hoe” for so long lol. I could see the pattern clearly for the first time.

I also remembered being 15 and feeling deeply connected to a song called “My Dream Girl Don’t Exist” by Neutral Milk Hotel, a song that opens with imagery of a young girl dying. I had an intense emo phase from 11 to 18, and songs like that were always on my iPod. I understood then that I had been spiritually grieving a loss I didn’t consciously know had happened.

Ancestors in the Making is a reader-supported publication. To receive new posts and support my work, consider becoming a free or paid subscriber.

The cord that brought me to cord-cutting in this lifetime

The regression facilitator told me I needed to do a lot of cord-cutting work to get more grounded. So I started.

My first cord-cutting was with my ex, a relationship that left me with PTSD. He was abusive, and even after I was out, I could feel that the energetic connection was still there, still draining me. I did a candle cord cutting ritual and burned a picture of myself from that time period. The second time I did a meditation, and in that meditation, I could see the cord was weaker, but it was still there. He still had access to my energy. In the meditation, I called on San Miguel to use his sword to cut the tie. It’s now 2026, and I do not feel the cord as strongly anymore. Moving back home, my mom did find my old paperwork from when I filed the police report, and I immediately felt the pain. I’m not ready to burn those papers yet. I’m working on it, though. My goal is to finally say goodbye on the day I graduate (in August, the abuse stopped me from finishing my BA). Then I can really feel like I can close that chapter.

Working that cord is when I learned: cord cutting is not a one-and-done situation.

If you don’t do the emotional work to remove the root, it grows back. The cord-cutting brings your power back so you can do the work. The root removal is the work, the healing, the consistency, the sitting with yourself through the hard parts.

I’ve said this before, and I’ll keep saying it: magic and spiritual healing are not “abracadabra.” It’s consistent work. Sometimes it’s magical and beautiful. And sometimes it hurts like hell. You go through ups and downs as the months pass, as you dig up the connection from inside yourself.

Here’s something I also had to reckon with: cords are not created because both people consented. Part of my healing was recognizing that I was not protecting my energy, and I was not holding my boundaries. Someone cannot take what you have protected.

So cord-cutting is the beginning of the journey, not the end. I call it a journey to freedom. Others call it spiritual sovereignty. Either way, it starts here and goes deep.

One more thing before the ritual: start slow. Cord-cutting can trigger pain you may not be prepared to hold space for. Do a safe space meditation first (I will be posting and recording one for YouTube, so go subscribe!). Give yourself time.

A Cord-Cutting Ritual

Cord-cutting rituals are best done under a full moon (or the days after). Full moons are the perfect time for releasing what no longer serves you, but do it whenever you want to do it. I just like working with the moon and planets for my rituals. I start by cleansing myself and my space energetically. I’ve gotten into the habit of dressing in white or black because it’s something my ancestors appreciate, and white clothing is protective; it attracts light energy, but black clothing is also protective as well. But you don’t have to.

Once I’m cleansed and settled, I call in my ancestors, guides, and angels:

“I am calling in my highest and most benevolent ancestors to stand by my side today to protect me. I call in my spirit team, my guides, and my angels for help during this ritual so that it is done fully, completely, and with my highest good in mind. I am requesting that the cord between (person, place, thing) and I is cut. I ask for my power back and my freedom. Guide me and show me what to do next.”

I come in with a general idea of what I need, and then I let my intuition and my guides lead from there. And I mean that literally, in a recent cord-cutting, my guides told me to tie a specific number of knots in the string and wrap my candle in a specific way that symbolized how the connection had been binding me. There is no script that will ever replace what your spirit team will show you when you ask. Use the rituals below as a starting point, not the end-all be-all.

What you’ll need:

1 or 2 candles (black or white)
Rose petals or rose buds (I like to center healing work in love, even when I don’t feel love for what I’m releasing)
Rue (for protection and energetic detachment)
Red string to represent the cord (any color works)
Coconut oil — to anoint the candle, purifying energy

Optional additions:

Juniper (inner strength)
Common sage - not white sage (energetic cleansing)
Lavender (third eye opening and cleansing)
Olive oil (peace and victory, alternative to coconut oil)

Three ways to work:

Option 1 — One candle + string: Mix your oil and herbs in a small bowl while visualizing your intention. Thank the herbs as you mix, breathe into them to activate them, do it with gratitude, and you will feel the difference. Dress your candle with the mixture. Light it. Hold your red string and spend a few moments visualizing it as the actual cord you’re cutting. When you’re ready, slowly move the string over the flame, let it burn, and split it in two. Thank your guides. Say goodbye to what you’re releasing out loud or in a letter. Burn the letter if you write one. Let the candle finish burning on its own.

Option 2 — Two candles, no string: Same prep as above, but you’re using two candles, one for you, one for whatever you’re releasing. Carve or write on each what they represent, or place a paper underneath. Use 7-day candles for this one. Light them right next to each other on day one and move them a little further apart each day until by day 7 they are completely separated. This one is especially powerful for things that feel fused to you, like memories, past lives, and old identities. I use a different variation of this for separation spells (I’ve helped abuse survivors get out safely with this one), it’s gentle but does the work. Pay attention to how each candle burns and let your intuition tell you what it means.

Option 3 — Your own combination: There is no wrong way as long as your heart is in it, your intentions are clear, and you are thanking your spirit team. Let them guide you. Let them protect you. If you don’t know how your spirit team communicates, well, that’s where you need to start before ANY ritual work.

Disposing of your ritual items: There’s a lot of contradictory advice out there on this. I personally take mine to the garbage area farthest from my apartment, which happens to sit right at a crossroads. Best of both worlds and no littering.

When should you do a cord-cutting?

When something feels like it’s weighing on you energetically, and you can tell the emotion goes deeper than the situation in front of you. When you can’t let go even though you want to. From a Western perspective, what I was dealing with was PTSD. From a spiritual perspective, it was a strong, energetic cord to memories, places, and a person. I did both the psychological healing and the spiritual healing simultaneously, and that combination is what helped me reclaim my power.

A cord-cutting meditation is coming soon, an updated recording that goes deeper than the first one. Stay tuned.

What are Energetic Cords? What does it mean to "cut" them?

The Dominican Healer